Mirth and Laughter

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Sunday, February 04, 2007

Cars and Guns

While driving down the road yesterday through the small little town where I live, my car's engine just went quiet and the car started floating instead of, well, driving. I quickly steered it into the nearest parking lot (we have 4 to choose from--feed store, post office, gas station, and gun store) and it came to a halt. Dead. Thank God it hadn't happened a few minutes earlier when I'd been on the highway. Enough about the damn car.

I took my 9 year old son inside the gun store, aka car magnet, to apologize for my car stuck in their lot, and got a whole lot more than expected. The store is apparently a hang out for gun connoisseurs -- there were five folks in there to entertain us.

Right off the bat, my son, with eyes as large as dinner plates, looks around at the many guns -- from hand guns and hunting rifles to AK47's -- and announces he's never seen a real gun before. Gee. Shucks. He was immediately steered to an impressive package that include a Red Ryder BB gun and all the accessories, including the bb's which can leave scars in your lower back (yes, I have one from my childhood).

I tried to explain that we don't own any guns, what with small kids, one of whom would surely find and shoot the gun the very first day, regardless of security measures -- the very kid gazing at the Red Ryder with lust in his young eyes. Now, I say, it's not that I'm against guns. My family in Michigan hunts and always had those sorts of guns around..but we don't hunt and we have KIDS around.

"Hmm," they seem to silently accuse "a bleeding heart liberal gun-shunner." Not far off the mark.

So, what does the very crafty, clever man do? He shows me the most beautiful 1850's flintlock dueling pistol -- just like what I'd researched for my Crimean War story! Suddenly, I had lust in my eyes. Then, just to make sure he drew me over to the dark side, he produces from the deep secret bowels of the store, an old eetsy beetsy Lady Derringer's pearl-handled Colt derringer. in its original felt-lined white box (with a picture of a lady on the lid).

OH. MY. GOD. I want that cute little gun. I could never shoot anyone. I wouldn't want the bullets or anything. But it was so CUTE. Am I sick and wrong?

Then dh showed up and shattered the moment, announced the car is in bad shape and will cost a freaking fortune to get repaired, and we moseyed on to our still gun-free home.

16 Comments:

  • At 3:15 AM, Blogger KimAmburn said…

    There's nothing wrong with you! Just be glad he didn't take you to a range and let you shoot. They can be addictive.

     
  • At 4:31 AM, Blogger Jan Conwell said…

    Oh, you got me rolling with that one. Ellen. Crackin me UP! "I don't want bullets or anything, but this gun is so CUTE!"

    For the first two Christmases Phil and I spent together, he gave me handguns...all the kids had .22 rifles, and one of our favorite family outings was to load up and go to the rifle range. Kids all got ear-muffs, safety glasses, and a loooong lecture from Phil on range procedure, safety, and manners.

    Kimambrun's right...they can be addictive.

    Hope the car's mended soon.

     
  • At 6:19 AM, Blogger montster said…

    Get the gun!! Forget all the b.s. and you dont drink or smoke so enjoy life some! I think that Jamie is to young for the bb gun right now but later if he is still interested get him one. With his intelligence he will handle it responsibly and it gives him something else besides academics to dicuss with others. You brother Mike has just about every kind of gun made, but keeps the guns and ammo locked up in two different places. God its amazing how anybody grew up because when you were young you rode in the back of the pickup with a cab, never had a car seat, and all the things that people worry about nowdays.....

     
  • At 6:46 AM, Blogger Ellen said…

    LOL, everyone. Seems I'm the only non-gun person around. I suppose Charleton Heston will stop by soon to scold me for not exercising my constitutional right to bear arms. :)

    Seriously, I'm not against guns - especially when the owners are responsible, as all of you are (I'm impressed with the shottoing range thing). I'm just worried that my kids will accidently shoot themselves (or me) with it. Trust me when I say the possibility exists with them. Dh agrees.

    Dad, I know we were raised so much looser in some ways -- tougher in others. I often think my generation is doing it wrong.

     
  • At 6:47 AM, Blogger Ellen said…

    That was "shooting" range. LOL.

     
  • At 2:04 PM, Anonymous Viv said…

    LOL, Ellen! We are also a gun-free house. But I understand how the derringer could be considered cute (nice pic). Tell you what, you can have the gun, and I'll take the box. I collect unique boxes. Sound like a deal? :)

     
  • At 3:10 PM, Blogger Ellen said…

    Ooh, Viv, you'd love this box then. It's a deal. LOL.

     
  • At 8:17 AM, Blogger Aura said…

    That's funny Ellen. My dad had guns when I was growing up but I never went near them. I wouldn't have them around kids either. John had some guns in the house with his kids and just raised them to understand that if they point it at anything at all, they better be willing to totally destroy it. :(

     
  • At 7:47 PM, Blogger Tempest Knight said…

    Ah, it's a cutie alright. :) I can see it as part of a story. ;)

     
  • At 6:22 AM, Blogger Ellen said…

    It would be a great story piece, Tempest!

     
  • At 3:51 AM, Blogger MariaGeraci said…

    For some reason, little boys are just attracted to guns.
    But, et tu, Ellen?
    You crack me up. Thanks for the laugh!

     
  • At 9:54 PM, Blogger Ellen said…

    Yep, Maria. LOL.

     
  • At 3:04 AM, Blogger Scarlett Sanderson said…

    Ellen, that was hilarious! The gun is so purdy! Guns scare me a little, but hey, that one is gorgeous!

     
  • At 8:56 AM, Blogger Ellen said…

    They scare me too, Scarlett! :)

     
  • At 8:00 PM, Blogger Lillian Feisty said…

    Wow. I totally want a little gun, and it would be best if it could fit in a little thigh-holster under my skirts.

    That would be sweet.

     
  • At 6:42 AM, Blogger Ellen said…

    That would be so cool, Lillian! :)

     

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