This Doesn't Happen in My House
Daughter: Mooom! He's not sharing!
Son: Well, she wouldn't share with me yesterday!
(Screams of pain.)
Daughter: Mooom! He punched me!
Son: I did not! She shoved me!
Daughter: He punched me, kicked me, pulled my hair and bit me!
Son: She knocked me to the floor and stomped on my head!
(Mom enters room, arms folded, evil glare cutting into children's brain. They're both upright, hair unmussed, no bruises or cuts or blood.)
Mom: Both of you to your rooms now!
Multiple exorcist voices: It's not fair! It's his/her fault! I didn't do anything!
(Both kids stomp off to their separate rooms.)
10 minutes later . . .
Whispers floating down the stairs ~
Daughter: Psst, come in here. She won't hear us.
Son: Okay. Wanna play [insert name of next game they'll fight over]?
Daughter: Ooh, yea! We just need to be really quiet so she won't hear us. (Giggles and more giggles).
*sigh* Nope. This doesn't happen in my house.
Son: Well, she wouldn't share with me yesterday!
(Screams of pain.)
Daughter: Mooom! He punched me!
Son: I did not! She shoved me!
Daughter: He punched me, kicked me, pulled my hair and bit me!
Son: She knocked me to the floor and stomped on my head!
(Mom enters room, arms folded, evil glare cutting into children's brain. They're both upright, hair unmussed, no bruises or cuts or blood.)
Mom: Both of you to your rooms now!
Multiple exorcist voices: It's not fair! It's his/her fault! I didn't do anything!
(Both kids stomp off to their separate rooms.)
10 minutes later . . .
Whispers floating down the stairs ~
Daughter: Psst, come in here. She won't hear us.
Son: Okay. Wanna play [insert name of next game they'll fight over]?
Daughter: Ooh, yea! We just need to be really quiet so she won't hear us. (Giggles and more giggles).
*sigh* Nope. This doesn't happen in my house.
posted by Ellen @ 6:49 AM
9 Comments:
At 8:20 AM,
Aura said…
LOL Ellen. Gotta love those kids!
At 10:30 AM,
Lucy said…
LOL too funny.
At 10:33 AM,
Unknown said…
LOLOL....
Enter the kidzone where anything will happen.
At 12:39 PM,
Honey said…
*snort*
This doesn't give me warm fuzzies about having little brats of my own one day. ;)
At 1:10 PM,
Ellen said…
It's definitely not all sunshine and roses. LOL. Honey -- you should be afraid. Be very afraid. *muwhahaha*
Dad, Gee. I dunno why that might sound familiar. *evil grin*
At 9:50 PM,
Unknown said…
Hmm. You obviously have no need for Super Nanny!
At 1:42 AM,
Marly Mathews said…
LOL, thanks for that post, Ellen! :)
~Marly
At 3:08 AM,
Anonymous said…
Too funny!
At 6:42 AM,
Ellen said…
Lillian, LOL! I DO need her! I need to her come and set me, er, the kids straight.
Seriously, ladies, when I finish banging my head into the wall, I can and do laugh, especially that they're enemies with each other until a bigger evil comes along. Then it's "The enemy of my enemy is my friend," which cracks me up. I'm glad you can laugh with me. :)
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