Mirth and Laughter


Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Me Zero, Animals Seven

Not including the Hermit Crab and fish, we have 7 pets. And they're winning.

Scout's nice, no complaints (she's our sweet, lovable German Shepard).

Gunther's a pain in the ass (he's the part shepard mix who got dropped off by his owner, with a claim he'd be back to get him in a few weeks once the family had completed a move into their new house. Never came back). He's jealous of the cats, so pees all over in the house to mark his territory. He's loud and barks all the time. He's skittish and will bite at you if you come up behind him too fast. And, he's cost us about $2000 in vet bills because he can't leave the porcupines alone and frequently gets a mouth and face full of quill.

Two outdoor feral cats--Pumpkin and Theresa. Nice. We adopted them, fixed them, and feed them. No problems.

Then . . . 1 neat little kitty who got outside and disappeared (owl food no doubt). So in my many treks to the shelters just in case, I cried at the sadness of orphaned kitties and brought home a mom and 2 kitties. Cha Ching. An easy $100. Get home, they're all sick--kennel cough? respitory and eye gunk. Cha Ching. Money for vet visits, medicines, testing to make sure it's not kitty aids. Cha Ching Cha Ching.

Can't let them out, since they're not owl-savvy. Kitty litter cleaned out 5 times a day and replenished. Cha Ching Cha Ching Cha Ching.

Now mommy kitty's in heat and attacking the kittens. Must get her fixed quickly (who knew a still nursing mommy could go into heat?). Extra for fixing them if they're in heat. Cha Ching Cha Ching Cha Ching.

Taking her to vet this a.m. for surgery, snow makes driving a nightmare. Princess breaks out of the cardboard box carrier the shelter gave us--shreds it in fact--and freaks out. While I'm trying to manuever treacherous roads, starts climbing all over me, the dash board, the steering wheel--claws out and grabbing at anything. Oh. Save. Me. From. This. Hell!

I pull into Yokes to get an emergency pet carrier, and as I'm parking in the diagonal slot across from a big blazer, she leaps between me and the steering, I lose control just like Jerilyn in my 1st chapter, and hit the blazer across from me. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

So, I get out and look--no real damage to monstor vehicle, except for the plastic casing around license plate has snapped 1/2 off and laying in the snow. Didn't have a pen to leave a note. Okay. I'll race in, get the carrier, then wait for party to come out. Right. I'm in line and can see the spot from the cash register where I'm checking out. Turns out it was a handicap spot and some poor older man is practically crawling to get to this Blazer and pull himself up into it. Drives away. I've damaged a handicapped person's vehicle and did NOTHING about it!!!

There is a ring of Dante's hell that entails co-existing with this many animals. And that's where I'll spend eternity as punishment for that poor crippled man's truck. Next up, fix the 2 kitties before they start attacking each other. Plus more shots and boosters. What. Was. I. Thinking?!!! Next time I turn soft, just shoot me. I can't believe my husband hasn't shot me yet for the hell my big heart's brought to our household. It's like a Hitchcock movie at times--Chris came out of the bathroom last night to these 3 cats, another outdoor cat who comes in sometimes, and both dogs, all waiting outside the bathroom door. He looked down, looked at me, and just shook his head. Yikes.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Pride and Prejudice

Which movie will be the best version of Jane Austen's classic?

In the newest:
Keira Knightley (Pirates of the Caribbean) plays Elizabeth

Matthew Macfadyen play Mr. Darcy--no idea who he is. He's blurry anyway. LOL.

I look forward to seeing this new version, but how could it possibly replace the A & E version with Colin Firth?
Just before he takes a swim.
Okay, somewhere in there is Jennifer Ehle as well.

But what about the original?
With Laurence Olivier and Greer Garson.

Well, probably I'm the only AG girl who loves P & P. I just LOVE IT! The book and the movies. I thought no movie could replace the version with Olivier and Greer Garson. But, I was wrong. The A & E version followed the book almost word for word and was terrific! At first, when I heard there was a new version with Keira Knightly, I though NO! But, I will go with an open mind, because Jane Austen in any form is still the greatest. *Sigh* Can't wait. Maybe I'll wait for my mom to come (Dec 7th) and we'll have a girl's night out at the movies.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Turn up the volume!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Had to do at least one . . .

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Eagle

Animal You Were in a Past Life: Whale

You are active, a challenger, and optimistic.

Hard-working, you are always working towards a set goal.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Same Shift, Different Day

Me Today:

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Everyone Out! And she's the last one standing.

LOL. I worked at the school again this morning. (Uh-oh)

This time, I took a group of 3rd graders into the cafeteria where
we practiced a Christmas play. The little darlings did a great job
with their lines and singing their cute songs, but they weren't doing
the action in the parenthesis. For instance: Rudolph says "his line" (blows his nose then throws tissue in wastebasket). So, we ran through it a second time, while I directed them to do their actions when they forgot.

Just as I'm "instructing" them, a loud obnoxious buzzer goes off. I jump. Did I tell them the wrong thing? Should they just concentrate on their lines? Was God speaking to me?

The kids knew. They tore out of the cafeteria and out the side door of the building, before I had a chance to yell "Fire!" The darlings left me in the dust.

"Hey, I've fallen and I can't get up!" Okay, not really. But, what if I had? Though, I applaud their quick action.

So, back in the classroom, the teacher tells them, "Next time you're with a parent helper, wait for them." (It was obvious to all that I followed up the rear).

One sweet boy (one of the "little elves" from the play) summed it up perfectly. "It's every man for himself, Mrs. Toelken." In other words, let the mean lady burn. LOL!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Her Mind's in the Gutter


Yesterday, I worked at the kids' school to help with the visting Science people.
They roll in with a colorful van full of the neatest things to demonstrate mechanical, electrical, and civil engineering. They even taught the kids how to build a simple bridge (which was cool for my two since my Dad was a bridge engineer and in charge of the Mackinaw Bridge "Big Mac" in Mich.). It's the first time I've seen Jamie (my son) sit still at school and listen intently. :)

But, my mind's in the gutter. While these two young and fairly handsome guys demonstrated aerospace engineering, I thought in double-entendre the whole time. They had a make-shit rocket launcher made from plastic coke bottles, etc... The differently shaped bottles did different things when shot off. For instance, the one flipped end-over-end.

Well, whenever they said things like "You don't want your rocket to go off early," or "you'll want your rocket to go the distance," with smiles on their faces, well...

Get your mind out of the gutter, Evil E!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Jumping on the Band Wagon

All the world's a blog stage.
So, I decided to jump on the band wagon.

Has anyone ever done that literally?

Warning: My life is boring. So, there's a good chance that no excitement will ever be found at this site.

Kids above, taken a couple years ago. I couldn't find more recent photos from the digital camera. They've changed quite a bit. It's unusual for Roxie not to smile or laugh--so this doesn't look much like her.

Here's a question my daughter loves to ask:

How are you on this very fine moment of now?

What do y'all (she attempts to be southern again) do for your weekend fun?